Saturday, July 18, 2009

Medical boons and mills

Audrey was poised on the balcony, waiting for him. The soft rays of the moon bounced off the zygomatic arch of her beautiful face, and her green irises dilated as the saccadic movements of her eyes searched for him. As the moon disappeared in a dark embrace of the clouds, Emilio, her Italian lover scaled the wall using his latissimus dorsi to advantage. His high levels of testosterone had blessed him with well developed secondary sexual characters. He appeared noiselessly on the balcony and startled Audrey. It was only her righting reflexes that prevented her from falling. Audrey lit a candle as his eyes underwent light adaptation. She smiled and watched his rate of respiration increase in response to that. He grabbed her forearm in a supinated position with her elbow extended and shoulder joint in flexion and drew her closer. The scent of her body invaded his nasal mucosa and stimulated the olfactory nerve endings which led to activation of certain libidinous pathways in his limbic system. He held her wrist and felt her pulse beat at a rate of 100/min, normal force tension and volume. He pressed his body to hers and spread the palms of his hands over her back over the lumbar region(L1 to L5). She could not stop herself from clasping his cervical region similarly when she saw the hunger in his eyes. He bent his head down with the image of her lips on his retina. She moistened her lips in anticipation. Their lips touched and they began to exchange the normal flora of each other's oral mucosa (anerobes, strep, diphtheroids etc.). A sweet groan erupted from Audrey's vocal cords. Lost in passion it took a few seconds for her husband's voice to penetrate Audrey's cortex. Emilio broke away from her and climbed down the balcony.

Epilogue:
A few days later Audrey was diagnosed with infectious mononucleosis. Emilio was diagnosed with HSV1 sores on his oral mucosa. And, oh, I forgot.... they lived happily ever after ( of course, i mean, the viruses).

10 comments:

mgeek said...

OMG!! Hilarious. :-) great work, sambo.

Aniruddha Agarwal said...

Wow! Hilarious! Too good Sambo!

Keep going; we want a post on HSV 2 and Lymphogranuloma venereum next:-)

Ketan said...

I was thinking how to be original in my compliment, but anyhow that too would pale before the originality of this post. :) So, too good! Really.

Sam said...

thank you
thank you
thank you

deluded said...

ouch.

oh well, at least it was HSV1 and not 2 :)

Ketan said...

@deluded: How do we know! They anyway didn't have an article 377 to put up with. But, LOL! :D

Ketan said...

*section 377

Ananya said...

U will certainly win the prize for "the worst sex in fiction" hands down...u should seroiusly consider sending this!
Btw th previous wonners include salman rushdie and arundhati roy so u'll certainly be in august company!

Sam said...

As long its fiction its okay! wink!

Shraddha said...

Sambhavi, when will you post again? I miss you, your posts and your humour. Come back soon.